Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss Ft Molly Mae
I'm excited for her future rebrand into custom watches...
This piece is a long one, so click here to see it online!
British influencer Molly-Mae has found herself in a whole heap of trouble after some pretty disgusting comments made on the December 2021 podcast The Diary Of A CEO.
For a quick recap, she rose to prominence after placing second place in Love Island 2019. Her placing was a little scandalous as her and boyfriend Tommy Fury were the "obvious" winners before Black Brit Twitter stole the contest for our girl Amber - we would all do it again in a heartbeat.
Since then, she has leveraged her fame, distanced herself from the reality show, and at 22 years old, she has been named creative director of fashion retailer PrettyLittleThing in the UK and Europe.
Back to the podcast, she said some pretty horrible things - that highlight why 22-year-olds shouldn't be creative directors- and even her most avid fans and supporters have been hurt.
This piece will look to:
Touch on her comments and highlight the reasons her views are wrong
Engage with how scarcity is not the same as poverty
Highlight how her comments are the birth child of postfeminist rhetoric
The video and statement in question:
Transcript:
You’re given one life and it’s down to you what you do with it. You can literally go in any direction…
When I’ve spoken about that in the past I have been slammed a little bit, with people saying 'it’s easy for you to say that because you’ve not grown up in poverty, so for you to sit there and say we all have the same 24 hours in a day is not correct…
But, technically, what I’m saying is correct. We do..
So I understand that we all have different backgrounds and we’re all raised in different ways and we do have different financial situations, but I do think if you want something enough, you can achieve it…
It just depends to what lengths you want to go to get where you want to be in the future. And I’ll go to any lengths…
I’ve worked my absolute a**e off to get where I am now…
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In last week’s newsletter, my Hater gene was activated, and I discussed it by I thought Don’t Look Up was very meh.
In the end, it is obvious McKay wrote this from a place of superiority and judgement. It was written by someone of the upper class who is ultimately out of touch with the reality of the masses. In my view, it’s a story you write on a writer’s high then read after a couple months like 🥴.
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4 quick[ish] thoughts
1. “There is a distinct difference between the quantifiable period of time and how you can spend it” - Sadhbh O'Sullivan
Since her comments have gone viral, her team has posted asking the public to view the comments within context. Though the comments made were at the start of the podcast, I watched the entire thing and honestly… even within the context, the comments are not great.
Watching the entire chat, it is apparent that Molly-Mae is very young. I’m only 26, so not that much older than her. But luckily for me, I’ve been aged by experience and a fully formed prefrontal cortex.
So technically, yes, we all experience 24 hours within the day, but this does not mean we all have the same. Beyoncé (my fave), who she mentions as an example, is a billionaire married to a billionaire. Yes, she had humble beginnings, but even now married with babies, she doesn’t have the same 24 hours she did as a member of Girls Tyme.
For example, when I wake up every morning, I shower, eat and begin work. Other people in my University class wake up and have to work to help support the household. Others have had to drop out due to the pandemic decimating their families financial situation.
As Molly-Mae discusses in the podcast, she grew up in Hitching with two police officer parents and a sister in the army. Yes, she worked as a lifeguard and didn’t go to private school, but her life is vastly better than other people. Just the fact that she was able to pack up and move to Manchester at 18 years old highlights this. She could go because her family didn’t need her to say- a privilege not many people have.
2. “Poverty can be overcome by hard work” is a myth pedalled by Tory governments (which have pushed people into poverty) while the right-wing press demonises them as "lazy". Why? To justify political decisions, pass the shame onto those who suffer as a result, and divide us - Nadia Whittome MP
Poverty is here by design and insanely difficult to break.
For instance, bank charges and fines. If you find yourself with limited resources and miss a payment, you get charged. Now you have to find the means to make that payment and also cover the charge you’ve been given. Now, let’s say you’re working for being exploited by a major fast-fashion retailer and earning £3.50 an hour. There is no way you’ll be able to work enough to cover rent and have the free time to pursue your own endeavours.
During my hospitality days, I imagined spending my free time writing and advancing my career. Instead, I was either sleeping for recovery or going out to de-stress. Now, this was a situation of my own making, and I didn’t grow up poor. So, I could pivot and move without a thought or care. But I hope it illustrates how we definitely do not all have the time to indulge our most prized pursuits.
3. Growing up middle-class skews your perspective
We need to ban middle-class people from speaking about wealth or poverty. Though middle-class people aren’t rich by any means, they tend to view themselves as “not well off”. While this is technically true, it isn’t comparable to poverty. Scarcity is not the same as poverty. In that, we mean:
Scarcity is people’s inability to have everything they want.
Poverty is people’s inaccessibility or unavailability of basic life necessities (clothing, food and shelter) due to
People in poverty can not just wake up and decide not to be poor. They also can not follow their dreams as they’re too busy trying to ensure they live.
Yes, some middle-class folk may never get “handouts” from their parents and have to be self-sufficient; but this doesn’t mean we are without our privileges. While they may not have lots of excess capital, they are gifted with more opportunities and time to pursue their interests and passions.
4. Success is due to a mixture of talent, connections, privilege and luck
I really loathe the personal development industry. Saying that we all have the means for social mobility is a gross over-simplification. I'd argue the illusion of opportunity is the reason we are yet to have the class consciousness reckoning we deserve.
I agree; no one else on Love Island has reached her feats, which is where the talent comes in. However, she is a blonde, attractive white woman from a middle-class background which is the reason she was cast on the show in the first place. She was also lucky enough to get introduced to the show when she did. So yes, she did work her ass off, but that's not the sole reason for her success.
For example, me! My father and mother grew up in rural Zimbabwe. Like, poverty². My father talks about not having school textbooks, and my mother on how they'd have to work on the farm before school. Both managed to break the cycle and make good lives for themselves due to their intelligence and school smarts. Also, my father’s mother was a teacher which served him well. They were also not the firstborn - my father was the last, and my mother was in the middle.
In fact, as you go through all my aunts and uncles in age descending order, their economic situation improves with each younger sibling - each child before unlocked more opportunities for the last regarding time to study and life lessons.
Though I have worked hard to get to where I am, I was lucky to have been born to the parents I had. They provided me with the possibilities and capital to pursue my interests and passions. This doesn't negate the effort I've put in, but I would also never claim to have made it this far on my own.
Postfeminism has led to our ‘gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss’ era
Without getting too theoretical, postfeminism is a theory that was previously applied to the dismissal of feminist ideology. These days it now includes the reworking of feminism into a neoliberal framework. In essence, personal agency and entrepreneurialism are seen as the keys to empowerment. With individualism on a pedestal, the social, cultural and economic causes of gender inequality are ignored.
Influencers and their "aesthetic labour" are a key example of this. Although many of these influencers are doing hard work, they are essentially capitalising on women's flaws.
Think about it, since the dawn of influencers, has power really shifted from the powerful to the people? Or are influencers personal marketing tools used to further line these businesses pockets. The only reason they are needed is because these big companies shifted their marketing strategies from a flaw-focused model to one that seeks to help us "love ourselves the way we are" - but like, who taught us to hate ourselves in the first place?
This isn't to say all influencers are the same or that we should dunk on them. But, we should call a spade a spade and realise the reality of our situation.
In essence, Molly-Mae's comments fit into this idea of female empowerment through entrepreneurialism. After all, it's what we grew up being fed, and luckily for her, it worked out. However, it is vital people see that we are still functioning under traditional colonial structures.
Really? It's the fault of neoliberalism again?
Capitalism is a crafty little bitch; what can I tell you!
I’m currently binging Selling Sunset on Netflix, and I’ll be honest, I may sell my soul for a sexy view…
Particularly for marginalised people, money and hustle can seem like the doorway to freedom. It is an attractive and enticing offer, but it is extended to only a few. By design, for a handful of people to be crazy, stupid, rich, you have to have millions struggling to pay the rent.
The hierarchy is intentionally placed, and mobility is purposely tricky. Watching the interview in its entirety, I do have hope for Molly-Mae. She references how getting on the property ladder has caused her to realise how impossible the feat must seem to an average 22-year-old.
However, she also discusses how she keeps a tiny circle and doesn’t see the importance of friends, so I just know the echo chamber is doing its thing to reassure her that her comments weren’t wrong at all. Also, she does work for a company actively destroying the world.
My only hope is that she doesn’t see the backlash as trolling. Like yes, most of it probably is, but many people have raised valid and essential points. She is only young, but this isn’t a justifiable excuse. She knows she caught heat for her previous comments and instead of looking to why, she doubled-down and embarrassed herself.
Closing thoughts
In truth, I’m more so surprised at the backlash than her comments. Like, she’s always been like this? Yes, the comments were disgusting, but they’re not that much of a move away from what she already shared.
I am also a little sympathetic to her, as she reminds me of who I was from 15-21. Yes, as Black as I am, I was a little fucking Tory growing up. But I do see hints of awareness; then again, money taints you, so time will tell.
In summary, I’m not saying we need to die for the cause and not make money as a bid against capitalism. That would be nice, but it’s not realistic. Instead, we can ethically work in the systems we have and ensure that when we speak on topics, we don’t fall onto personal experience. Don’t get me wrong, personal experience is a great start, but we are not the world. Therefore, we also need to take the time to learn about other perspectives to inform our actions.
My only hope is that Molly-Mae opens up her friendship circle and allows more varied discussions. Either that, or she sticks to speaking on what she knows…
The full video:
That’s it from me.
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